So, first things first; my garden! It seems to actually be coming along now.
Yes, it still looks mostly like a garden of bottles, but things are growing under the bottles. See.
And, I actually have 3 broccoli plants that may live. Yay!
And my spinach is doing quite well.
I also have my first flower on a pea plant!
I now have kale, chard, lettuce, endive, peas, watermelon, cucumber, squash, broccoli, tomato, spinach, carrots, basil, and (maybe) stevia growing. I need to weed again and replant the pepper seeds. I also have several seedlings indoors. I'm waiting to let them get a little bigger and a little tougher before I figure out where to put them outside. I still have some spots where things could go, particularly in the partly shaded part of the garden things are more sparse, and I could add a few plants. I also need to plant a couple more basil, or actually give in and get some of the other herbs I've been considering. I've transplanted the thyme and the oregano into bigger pots as well.
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Healthy/healthy eating.
Still doing to no sweeteners thing, still loving it. Apparently I also lost 8 pounds last month, rather than the usual 5 that had been happening. I don't know how I feel about that. Part of me is very pleasantly surprised. Another part of me feels very obsessively greedy about this weight loss and wants it to continue at this pace for the rest of the summer and wants to count and recount the possible pounds I could lose (dysfunctional much? yeesh). The third part of me, seeing the second part, thinks that maybe anything other than minimal weight loss would be a bad thing and that I shouldn't step on a scale again for a few months.
I have also had the pleasure of being introduced to a local egg seller who sells a dozen eggs cheaper than the local grocery, even though her eggs are truly free range and humanely raised. Haha, and now I'm wondering where I'm going to find anything so awesome in DC.
Ate quite a few things that had sugar in them yesterday and felt quite sick for most of the day. Wasn't very hungry for most of today, but found myself positively starving at the end of the day. I've just resigned myself to go to bed with a growling stomach because it's not reasonable to eat more. I had a cup of milk, sauteed red potatoes, whole wheat noodles, several cups of steamed kale, a fruit leather, an orange, and beef. My stomach stopped making noises for all of two minutes before it started up again.
I'm a little concerned about my skin/muscle tone if I loose weight very quickly. I'm also afraid I'm going to stop losing, which is why I didn't want to even think about weight loss when I started.
I think I'm going to have to spend this week getting my goals strait again.
Ah, also, speaking of health, on the social health front; my friend R was lovely yesterday. I never leave hanging out with her except that I'm in awe of how great she is. Among other things she was very encouraging about my interest in doing Krav Maga when I get to DC and also in my change in health. She too, has gotten a little healthier lately and I think she looks quite nice. Her life situation has also gotten drastically less stressful recently and I think you can see that in her face and demeanor.
I also hung out with M. She is quite small; a size 0, if I'm not mistaken, and my comparison of us always triggers my stereotype threat. It's not her fault, it's mine. I'm very sensitive to size differences. I'm getting better about not being triggered around her, or other people, but it's still quite embarrassing that I feel it's there so I tend to bring it up. The elephant in my own room. I end up talking about weight virtually every time I'm with her. When I first met her it was horrible, I couldn't get myself to shut up.
Yesterday, in response to something I said, she said "I've always seen you as beautiful," which is very kind and such a vicious slap in the face to the (ugly, dysfunctional, wrong) voice in my head telling me she's only my friend because she pities the "fat girl" that I'm not entirely sure I didn't flinch when she said it. Then I said something self-effacing, which was neither right nor constructive. *sigh* Sometimes you have good days, sometimes bad days. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder why she puts up with me.
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